Someone Give Hollywood A Copy of AR 670-1

Around the world, the beret is recognized as the official headgear of elite forces. The British SAS, the French Foreign Legion, and the United States Army Special Operations communities all wear the particular piece of head gear. Take a trip through various African rebel organizations and that scrap of felt with the leather band becomes an even bigger statement of pride.

A fine group of Sergeants Major

A fine group of Sergeants Major

Yes, that floppy piece of felt which fails to keep the sun out of your eyes and the rain from your face is largely seen as a testament to a warrior’s level of skill. The selective nature of these units, the particularly high washout rates of the entry courses, meant that those who wore the berets took a measure of pride in how they did so. After all, it is the warrior’s skill that made the particular piece type of cover bad ass, not the other way around.

That all changed in 2001 when General Eric Shinseki took the bold move to swap out the standard BDU cap for an Army-wide black beret. The Rangers, the previous (and rightful) owners of the black beret were outraged. Veteran’s groups were as well. And those of us who had to give up our much beloved patrol caps for those floppy felt things? Most of us didn’t want them either.

With that single decision, the quality control over the wearing of the beret was dashed. Why? Because the beret is not an easy hat to wear. At least, it’s not easy to wear correctly. The modern military beret must be shaped, which requires wearing a wet piece of felt and leather until it dries, all the while forcing the hat into shape. And more so, the modern military beret must be shaved. Yes, with a razer.

Shaping, fitting, and shaving a beret is a time consuming process, but when completed, the end result is a properly fitting cover that shows attention to detail and pride in uniform. It looks both professional and rugged at the same time. And maybe, just maybe, doing it right allows some of that warrior image to seep back into the soldier.

However, from the time John Wayne pulled on a green beret for the film of the same name, big name actors have been improperly wearing the headgear. Numerous movies and nearly every television show which attempted to visual signify a soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine as being “elite” by slapping a beret onto the uniform has usually done the exact opposite – often leaving that actor what we the army so politely calls “ate the #$%@ up.”

Of course, the movie that sparked this little lesson in Hollywood correction is the upcoming summer explogasm “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.” And yes, I am perfectly willing to suspend belief for the film, to swallow a secret terrorist organization with bleeding edge technology that blends asymmetric warfare with traditional 3rd Generation weaponry and tactics. I am completely able to suspend the ideas of teamwork and tactics for fancy “amplification suits” which turn elite forces into elite quasi-cyborg soldiers. Hell, I’m totally okay with a terrorist mastermind who wears a hood with eye holes and associates a little too much with reptiles. beretwear

But what I can’t suspend is the respect for wearing a beret the right way. Quaid, playing the G.I. Joe leader “Hawk” might look like a tough guy with his scowl and leather jacket. His eyes might just be shooting daggers. However, wearing his beret like that, the reason he’s angry probably stems from someone tugging his hat onto his head. Yes, wearing a beret is hard work, Hollywood, but if you wear it wrong you don’t look tough, you look foppish. And how the hell are we going to defeat Cobra if our esteemed commander is a fop?

10 thoughts on “Someone Give Hollywood A Copy of AR 670-1

  1. You know, I’ve never really given much thought to the elite military forces and how they wear a beret. But now, after reading your post and staring at the pictures, I’ve come to the conclusion that a beret looks silly and should only be worn while sporting a handlebar mustache, smoking an extra long cigarette, holding a loaf of bread and drinking a glass of wine.

    Or if you’re painting a lovely mountain landscape.

    Right? Painters wear berets?

    Okay, okay. You’re a Marine. Don’t hurt me.

  2. I think you mean pencil-thin mustache. And I’m not a Marine, I was in the Army. There’s a sizable difference.

  3. I have to tell you, while reading this it brought tears to my eyes. Not with sadness, but with laughter. I miss you man!

  4. @Matt After tonight’s collection of war stories, I don’t think you’ll make that mistake again anytime soon.

    @Mcadoo I know, we need to get the band back together.

    @Kelly SRSLY. And I didn’t even mention the things people did to their berets to make them look more bad ass that were against the “rules”.

  5. I can’t look at any “soldier” in uniform in movies or on TV without critiquing their wear of the uniform. The most common complaint is definitely the beret (which I hate; I love my patrol cap). Consequently, most of my non-military friends and family have been introduced to the phrase “ate up” (in both its civil and not-so-civil forms), and to many clauses in AR 670-1, because I’m critical like that. :smile:

  6. They never should have given the fuckin beret to average POG soldiers. I prefer the black beret to our tan ones and now all I see is fucked up berets all over the army… so we gotta fix berets in the military before we can start to fix hollywood.

  7. I have to agree whole heartedly. I can’t stand my beret, I’ve gone through shaping five of them before I finally got it to look right. When they switched us over to berets the first thing I thought was “how the hell do I even wear a beret?” After trial, error, trial, error, trial, error, and finally success I have quite a smooth looking beret. It lasted for about a year before holes started appearing in it and it smelled like sweat, and burnt hair. I had to replace it after a year! At least I could wash my patrol caps!

    Either way, good article, fine read. I do remember having some recent discussions though, about the US Army uniform in movies. I remember hearing something along the lines of uniforms having to have at least one thing wrong in them unless it’s some form of documentary. I don’t know how true that is though.

  8. As a Canadian soldier, I’m particularly sensitive to “bad beret wearing” in the movies. We’ve been wearing them since WW2. Really, it’s not hard to do – wear it around wet for a while and then it retains its shape.
    I was moved to googlr this topic after watching “Transformers” with my son. That “thing” on John Turturo’s head is an all time low in beret wearing. It makes Dennis Quaid’s look good in GI Joe.