Over at the Who’s News Blog, Stephen King was quoted saying the following,
Don't make him angry...
“The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good.”
Burn!
So, in the great tradition of the internet, it’s time to start the King Hype Machine in hopes of a fiction genre turf war that will put the 90s East Coast / West Coast Rap Feud to shame.
- Stephen King – the only person alive who can call Chuck Norris a “Nancy” and get away with it.
- Stephen King’s glasses keep his killer eyes lasers in check. When he takes them off, you know he’s about to kill a bitch.
- King’s books are all memoirs, not just “On Writing.”
- King can hear your fears, and that makes him smile.
- Stephen’s last name isn’t really “King,” it’s something Satan said about him once, and it just kind of stuck.
- King lets Clive Barker publish books so he has somebody to crush on best sellers lists.
- King writes long form, with special ink he makes by hand-crushing the remains of Edgar Allen Poe.
- The keys of King’s typewriter don’t clack, they scream in pure horror at his touch.
- Freddy Krueger’s ability to kill through nightmares is technically called a “Stephen King.”
- Each of King’s manuscripts are first typed on paper imbued with the souls of baby rabbits
Feel free to continue on in the comments.
Bradley Robb likes TV and books, and has an intense dislike for cinnamon. Once, Bradley stopped a Soviet T-60 with his middle finger. Bradley writes speculative fiction and edits Fiction Matters, and never really got the hang of talking about himself in the third person.