South Park is normally a show that’s easily overlooked despite a general level of intelligence and classic Cato Institute-esque principles that tends to outstrip most other shows on television. It’s obvious to see why most people overlook the show, episode after episode it is the collection of 4th graders who, despite typical childhood tendencies, are the smartest characters in the universe that Matt Parker and Trey Stone have created. And for this, they’ve won awards ranging from Emmy’s to a “freaking” Peabody.

Last night’s episode, the season finale, was not an award winner, but it was very good and it did follow the same general formula that Matt and Trey have turned into such a success. At the surface, the guys behind South Park were poking fun at the recent trend towards vampires, juxtaposing that trend against the four goth kids that have acted as foils so many times before. However, as they typically do, this episode had a deeper layer, one that struck at the heart of personal identity and group affiliation. These are two matters that we so often encounter in various forms of the social media landscape, proving that the acute feeling to belong didn’t actually die in high school; they just grow more subtle, as adult lives allow for easy bubbles to form, and differences to seem less noticeable without hallways jammed with those who are different from us six times a day.

Without digging too deeply into questions regarding who I really am – I’ve got an entire website to do that – I would like to point out a few people who I am not.

The first is the one that really bothers me. I’d like to introduce everyone to the Bradley Robb that is most definitely not me. If you Google “Bradley Robb Iraq” (or click here), you’ll see a Letter to the Editor of the Stars and Stripes magazine written by one PFC Bradley Robb in Camp Striker, Iraq. This letter drew some media attention as it was written by a junior enlisted man actively serving in a combat zone who was questioning the war he was fighting. Truthfully, that young soldier was chastising those who saw fit to insult others who were questioning the war. Regardless, the letter has been heavily reprinted online and linked to by other websites.

This PFC Bradley Robb is most definitely not me. When PFC Robb wrote that letter, I had already been back from the war for a year and five days. When I was in Iraq, I was a Specialist, not a Private First Class. I spent my time in FOB Normandy, FOB Warhorse, and LSA Anaconda, and never visited Camp Striker. And my feelings on the war are far too complex to cram into a short missive to the editor of a newspaper. Though I don’t write extensively on the war, I do fear that those Googling for my writings will believe me to be this young soldier. I am not.

This is not me.

Next up we’ve got the answer who for those who always just assumed that the P in my byline stood for Pabst. Yup, it’s Paul; Paul Robb is my legal or “slave” name. Those with some serious music cred, or who are forever stuck in the late eighties and early nineties dance scenes, might remember him from the electro-dance group Information Society and their breakout hit “What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy)”. For those who don’t, but care to, here’s a link to the video. Others, who happen to really pay attention to the closing credits of South Park might have noticed that the theme song (though recorded by Primus) was remixed by Paul Robb.

Again, this is not me. Paul was making music and questionable fashion choices while I was still in grade school. His musical tastes and mine are rather divergent to say the least. And he was on an episode of VH1′s Bands Reunited. I have so far avoided appearing on any Viacom properties. I’m holding out for either the Daily Show or South Park. Though I do dig his minimalist aesthetic on his website. Makes up for the outfits he wore in his band.

This, also, is not me.

But wait, there’s another one, and this one’s a true Doppelganger. Meet Paul Robb, who also isn’t me. Paul lives in Scotland where he is a copywriter specializing in writing copy for the web. Though he resembles me enough to give both my oldest friend and my girlfriend reason to pause, and though our occupations are almost identical, and though we both are on Twitter, and though we have a similar fashion sense and wear the same shoes, I’m fairly certain that he isn’t actually me. If he is, I’ve somehow managed to be in two places at once, and I’m going to have to tell myself how I did that.

You know, to avoid most of this confusion, I think I will change my first name to Pabst. That’ll eliminate two of the three. After that I just need to pump out a lot of Iraq war writings associated with my name, so that Google points people to me, and not towards confusion.

So, anybody else got doubles running around?