Feel free to submit this letter or write your own. The Twitter Support page can be found here.

Dear Twitter Staff,

Due to the automation of Twitter Spam accounts through products like TweetTornado, I feel it’s in the best interest of both Twitter and the service’s users to enact two changes to registration process to hamper bulk registrations while still allowing legitimate users to register with ease.

The first such act would be to include a CAPTCHA. A solid CAPTCHA can reduce automated signups by 85%.

The second act would be the interrupt the signup process by enacting email verification. This is a more cumbersome task, which adds time to the process, but also puts the requirement of having an actual email address on those who which to create mass accounts.

I appreciate the quick response that Twitter takes to identify and suspend spam accounts, however, the number of spammers is rising, and a more proactive approach would be much appreciated. Thank you for your understanding.

[Name]

Thanks to the speed in which information travels in 2009, copies of these emails have already leaked out.

The first, addressed to Bill, holds the following:

What can I say? After the tragic events of 9-11, I was able to gut the Bill of Rights almost completely. Can’t get rid of that pesky 2nd Amendment, and there aren’t many troops here right now to quarter on account of the two consecutive wars I have them fighting. The rest of the Constitution I was able to bend and finesse so that the careful system of checks and balances our founding fathers put into place were basically nullified. I was able to dictate the laws to Congress, and the Courts? Well you saw how I got elected the first time.

And let’s not forget the millions of Americans who were left bitter following the government’s lack of response to Katrina. Or the skyrocketing price of oil which is still attempting to recover from my time in office. Or the housing bubble. Oh, and I would be a fool not to mention the economy being in the worst shape it’s been in since the Great Depression.

Yup, and I still didn’t get impeached. I guess that thing you told me is true, it doesn’t actually matter what you do, as long as you don’t get a blow job.

W.

The second, addressed to Barrack, holds the following:

Not it!

PS. I put my finger on my nose when I wrote that.

W.

Only so much of this is actually satire. Sadly, here’s to the history book, let’s hope they don’t screw the pooch on this one.