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Image by Gabriel Oliveira

I’ve been doing some thinking lately about job titles. Specifically, I think job titles need to be re-imagined to better reflect the job’s function. To that end, I propose the adoption of what I call “The Guy Title.”

For example, Joe the IT specialist will become The Computer Guy. Or if Ted specializes in keeping the network up and running, Ted becomes The Network Guy. Fred who keeps everyone’s email up and running? He’s The Email Guy.

Of course, the Guy Title system easily extends beyond the IT department.

Photographer? Meet the Camera Guy.
Web Copywriter? Web Writer Guy.
Marketing Analyst? Poll Numbers Guy.
Package Car Driver? Delivery Guy.
Pizza Delivery Driver? Pizza Guy.

It’s a pretty simple formula, and chances are you’re already using them in conversation anyway. I think, that by taking these conversational titles and turning them into official titles, employees will have a much better understanding of exactly what’s expected of them.

The Guy Title system also makes interoffice communications easier. Have a problem and you need it fixed? Shout the name of the problem and attach “Guy” and there’s little doubt who should respond.

Now, I know you’re wondering, “But what about management?” Well, that’s just as easy. Simply add a “boss” for department heads, a “suit” for division level, a “-y” for C-level positions. Thus, the Chief Marketing Officer becomes Market-y Guy. The IT Division Manager? Computer Suit Guy. Customer Service Manager? Complaint Boss Guy.

And ladies? Don’t want to be called a “Guy”? Think about it this way, if payroll is determined by job title, there’s not really anyway to be paid less for the same job.

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I’ve gotten into the habit of carrying my Flip around with me, just in case something incredibly bizarre happens. As usually, George and I showed up for work this morning. We typically show up 30 minutes to an hour before the rest of our coworkers, not because we brownnose, but rather because we also leave 30 minutes to an hour before the rest of our coworkers.

Typically, we end up parking a about three rows back. Today, well, finding a parking spot wasn’t a problem.

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Tasha and I are still knee deep in the process of getting moved into our new apartment. This is, of course, a big change from living at the Perry’s house for the past six weeks. It is, also, a much welcomed change as we are people who enjoy a space that we can define as our own.

The new apartment met nearly every goal I had for finding a new place to live. We have central heating and air, a washer and dryer, and a dishwasher. It also has my number one goal – a private office. I made it clear that we needed a two bedroom apartment so that I could have a private office. One of the hardest bits about working at home when we lived in Lancaster was that my office was in the bedroom. This meant that Tasha was limited to the living room and kitchen when I was working, or more accurately, I could only work when she was out of the house. Now, I have my own private creative space with a door that can be closed. The space should make things easier in the near-future.

The apartment also has some other nice features. We’ve had to give up DirecTV, as the complex wanted an outrageous $350 to allow us to install the dish. So, as of Monday we’ve become “fiber people.” That’s right, we’re rolling with FiOS for TV and internet.

So, all in all, we’re still getting moved in and settled, but both Tasha and I feel that this place will be better for us. We’ve swapped out the sirens and crackheads of downtown Lancaster for crickets and neighborhood kids of suburban Richmond. All in all, I think we made the right choice.